It’s convenient that the Pretend Father has told the Sad Girl never to speak to him.

It’s convenient that people the Sad Girl has known all her life, won’t speak with her either.

It’s convenient that the Pretend Father hides behind an open newspaper and a disdainful attitude.

But that’s the way it’s always been.

Honor your Father and Mother. It’s convenient to forget the Greatest is Love.

Old age doesn’t give you a pass nor does “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

But it is convenient isn’t it?

Righteous umbrage to shut down every conversation so you conveniently don’t have to answer any questions.

What were you doing to cause the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe to stray?

The Sad Girl would ask her but she’s dead.

Is that why the Sad Girl was not allowed to see her before she died?

Were you punishing the Woman with the Rock in her Shoe one last time?

She was only a woman not the Saint you proclaimed her to be.

Did you stray from her side?

Do you have another family?

Did you make her so miserable that she feigned allergies to stop eating and hasten her own death?

Were you cold and distant with her like you are with the Sad Girl?

Did you ever love her enough to forgive her?

Was everything she did a desperate plea for your attention?

How much did you know?

Why did you stop loving Favorite Sister and the Sad Girl?

Clear your conscience.

The Sad Girl still wants to know who her father is.

 

 

The Sad Girl graduated from Felician College in 1987 with both a degree in elementary education and an offer from the University of Delaware for a fellowship to study history at the graduate level. She declined the offer of graduate school. She was tired of studying. She preferred to begin a career in teaching, and hopefully, get married and have a family.

 

The Pretend Father presented the Sad Girl with a beautiful watch for her graduation. The watch was his idea and he selected it himself. The Sad Girl cherished that watch because it was from him, even though both parents had signed the graduation card.

 

Whenever she fastened the watch to her wrist, she remembered how proud he was of her on her graduation day. The Sad Girl has pictures of him just beaming with pride. On her graduation day, she felt his love.

 

The Sad Girl still remembers. She still wants him to be proud of her. She still want his eyes to sparkle and say “that’s MY daughter”, even if it is only in his heart.

 

( Many things happened during the in- between years before the deli opened. If inquiring minds want to know how you can catch chlamydia from the water at the Jersey Shore, or other fun incidences from the last of our semi-harmonic years I would be happy to make a special post. Just put it in the comment section and I will.)

 

 

One curtain may have closed but another opened to reveal the Sad Girl’s Pretend Father’s lifelong dream. He, along with Brother II, were determined to open a deli.

This business would subsidize the Pretend Father’s upcoming retirement and give him an occupation to enjoy during his golden years. A deli also appealed to Brother II. He had been a short-order cook through college and dreamed of having his own eating establishment.

 

At this point in our story, Brother II was self-employed writing software programs for large corporations. He reasoned he could write programs in the deli office during the lull hours.

 

If he needed to travel, someone could cover his hours. Brother II’s traveling had not made his wife happy. She was pregnant with their daughter and not able travel with him. A successful deli would enable Brother II to stop traveling.

 

The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe did not want this business. It would entail the Pretend Father procuring a small mortgage on their mortgage free house. Pretend father, with Brother II behind him, prevailed. The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe, dutiful wife that she was, began planning the new business venture.

Let me stress this again-

 

THE WOMAN WITH THE ROCK IN HER SHOE DID NOT WANT THIS BUSINESS.

 

 

 

Goldilocks