Silence again made his presence known by falling to his knees and praying for an outbreak of the plague to cancel the performance that was about to unfold across the pages of Microsoft Word.

In the days before the wedding of the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl, the dogs of war had been barking but Silence was able to muffle their howl.

The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe and the Pretend Father told Favorite Brother-in-Law they did not have enough money to pay for the celebratory liquor. Could he help? As always, Favorite Brother-in-Law helped. He had an acquaintance who was a supplier. He would sell him the liquor for cost. Unbeknownst to anyone but the Sad Girl’s parents, Favorite Brother-in-Law purchased and supplied the alcohol for the wedding.

The matrimonial morning dawned. Brother-in-Law approached the Sad Girl’s mother. He had spent an extra two hundred dollars on necessary serving supplies. He and Sister II had supplied more food then what the Sad Girl’s parents paid for. He wanted to be reimbursed. The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe went to get him the money.

Dramatic music is required as we follow the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe into the laundry room where she opened a dresser drawer. She had tucked cash in between the assorted items. This money was to take care of the various wedding day expenses. When she went to fetch the money for Brother-in-Law, she found three thousand dollars was missing. There was only seven hundred dollars left.

The audience that had gathered into our family theater winced in pain as the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe whispered to Favorite Brother-in-Law early on the Sad Girl’s wedding day that someone had stolen three thousand dollars from her drawer. The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe proceeded to write checks to cover the miscellaneous wedding expenses instead of paying in cash.

After their wedding night, when the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl returned to her house, they were informed about the missing money and its’ ramifications became reality.

The wedding guests had given many beautiful presents, as opposed to cash gifts. The Sad Boy and the Sad Girl had planned to use the cash to fund their honeymoon in Italy. They were leaving with the Sad Boy’s parents the next day to spend the months of July and August in Naples.

In a hushed tone, the Woman with the Rock in her Shoe told the Sad Girl she was missing money. As a result, she required enough cash from the Sad Girl’s wedding money to deposit in the bank to cover the checks she had written out. She must have it from the Sad Girl.

Most of the cash gifts she had, the Sad Girl dutifully handed to the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe to prevent her checkbook from bouncing. She did not consult her husband the Sad Boy. She just handed the cash to her mother.

This did not make the Sad Boy happy on many levels. Primarily, he and the Sad Girl were now a committed pair; decisions needed to be made between the two of them, with the Sad Boy as Head of the House. Additionally, they now had very limited funds to finance their two-month honeymoon.

The Sad Girl, always used to bowing to the temper tantrums and browbeating of the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe, unconsciously picked the Woman’s needs over the “us” of the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl.

To this day she regrets it.

As a married pair, they had gotten off to a rocky start. They had their first fight – ever- the first full day they were married.

When faced with the choice of the “us” of the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl and helping her mother, the Sad Girl always withered under the tears and threats of the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe and would for the next ten years of her life. The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe knew it caused discord between the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl but she didn’t care.

The checks they received, about one thousand dollars, were deposited into the savings account the Sad Girl still held jointly with the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe. When they cleared the banking system, in about five business days, the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe was to send them to the Sad Girl in Italy.

Every week or so, when the Sad Girl called, she always inquired when the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe would send her money. At first, she said the checks hadn’t cleared. Then she said with working at the deli she hadn’t the time. After each phone call, the Sad Boy would say to her “Sad Girl, why are you still asking your mother? She is not going to send our money.”

Finally, she said she used the one thousand dollars to put a new clutch in the Sad Girl’s car and to purchase four new tires for the car that she had been driving all summer. She had spent the Sad Girl’s wedding money and was not sending it to her. She rationalized that when the Sad Girl came home she would have had to have a clutch installed and new tires anyway.

The Sad Girl doesn’t remember checking if her car was the proud recipient of four new tires. She did know that as a mechanic, Favorite Brother-in-Law benevolently fixed all the family cars for the cost of the necessary parts. The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe, like everyone else in the family, would have asked him to install a new clutch. He was never asked to replace the clutch in the Sad Girl’s car.

Plot holes and inconsistencies in the script were becoming apparent, but the Sad Girl had yet to catch on to any of them.

Hindsight is twenty years too late.

Goldilocks