Tag Archives: Angels

Chasing the Muse for Lee

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I don’t have the words to finish the story of The Sad Boy and The Sad Girl at the moment so I will write something else and when the words come I’ll get back to it.

A few years ago, I was invited to a large 4th of July party on the Jersey side of the Hudson River, right in front of the Macy’s firework spectacular. It was among the best parties that I ever had the honor to be invited to and the pleasure to attend.

There, I was smart enough to introduce myself to a bashful man, who like me, didn’t know too many of the other hundred or so guests.

We started to talk and had such a conversation that here I am, a few years later remembering and writing about it.

I don’t remember the question I asked to spark that conversation and his reflection on the years that had passed. I only know I was lucky enough to ask it and listen to him recount a fascinating life.

He was of the baby boomer generation, born and bred in Manhattan. He had the good fortune to be on the street the day the Beatles landed in a New York hotel room for the first time. He told me about the first time he listened to their White Album, by a friends house in a drug induced haze because he said, that was the only way you listened to The White Album in the 60’s.

He told me about finding himself and cross country journeys and holding the hands of dying HIV patients before anyone knew what they were dying from.

He told me about his nephew; the only person he felt loved him in the entire world. He said it was okay but I could tell it wasn’t. He just wanted to be accepted for who he was and not judged for what he wasn’t.

He told me a piece of his life- so much that I told him he should write down his experiences. He said there was no one who cared- not a spouse or a sibling or a parent. And besides, he didn’t know how to write.

I told him that I cared. That all our lives and experiences put together made for the history of the world. There were so many stories that so many have shared with me and I love them all.

He told me I should write his story and all the rest that I hear. Just collect them and write them into a book, he said. Make a compilation because I cared and he didn’t think he was important or worthy enough to be included in the fabric of history.

So on your advice, Friend from the NY CBS office; I will relate the story and experiences of my friend Lee.

Life is funny. Sometimes it puts you next to people who are strangers one minute and friend the next.

Lee is one of my internet friends.

I met him many years ago while I was posting as an “Anonymous Coward” on a thread aspiring to be the longest on the internet, on GodLikeProductions.

My favorite was when he would post about the man he met in the late 1970’s called Mike. His posts referencing Mike were often cryptic. A sentence here, a comment there sprinkled enough to bait the curious reader knowing that there was a great experience behind the comments if only he would trust enough to share and others had the patience to listen.

“Mike said this, Mike said that…” Sometimes during an internet discussion Lee would say, “No, Goldilocks, you have it wrong…” and proceed to enlighten me and make me think in a manner I hadn’t before. Eventually, I had the courage to ask him how he came to meet Mike,

It has taken many years to pull the entire story out of Lee not because he didn’t want to tell it, but because the experience was so profound and life changing that he didn’t know how to relate it so that the listener would understand.

Slow and steady as the years have gone by, one question and answer at a time, he’s been able to more fully relate the experience. And I, with his permission, will share it with you and let you make your own conclusions.

I don’t know if this is the story of Lee or the story of Mike. Lee’s going to be upset and say “It’s not about me; it’s about Mike and the message. I’m nothing, just the fortunate man in the middle.”

I will dispute that Lee, because I feel it’s about being the vessel, in this case Lee, and watching God work in mysterious ways talking to us all. I also feel that Mike’s true name is Michael the Archangel but I will let each reader decide for themselves.

In order to understand the experience, you have to understand Lee.

Like many of us, Lee is immensely complex and extraordinarily simple. He has a beautiful singing voice and a heart filled with love. And like all my friends, he enjoys silliness and a gut busting laugh.

He is friends with a fox.

Lee is a master gardener. Loving the earth and gently coaxing seeds to sprout into glorious flowers and vegetables with an abundance of blooms and baskets of produce all from a piece of land in a small city in Middle America that is the size of my back porch.

Lee graciously lets his internet friends share his garden every year by posting photos of his daily labors and its progress from seed to glory. His plants always seem to turn just right when he snaps their photo.

Currently his garden is flooded and he has shared this small piece of land with a new neighbor. The gentleman’s name is Adam. I don’t really think it’s a coincidence. Lee is recovering from a stroke and I think God sent someone to help him with his little corner of the earth.

There is so much to what Lee relates, far too much for one blog post. But I’ll start by relying on quoting his internet posts because that’s the only way I’ll get it right.

~When I was in Arizona that January, I called my buddy Eric. He was telling me about this weird guy living there named “Mike Lucci.” I said “What makes you say that?”

Eric told me for instance that he could find lost (people who had lost contact with each other, not missing people) family friends or people just by making a short phone call”. He gave me several other examples of this guys “weirdness.”

Eric had recently been busted for pot, and was on a mild probation. He told me either this guy is a Narc …. is a CIA agent, or is an extraterrestrial! I laughed, told him he was being paranoid, and said I’d like to meet this Mike guy someday, and we said our goodbyes.

One thing Eric said was correct, and I already had a feeling which one.~

~I was a college student at the time. I was at ASU in Tempe, Arizona. I lived in Mesa.

It was spring break during mid-March of that year, and a strong urge was saying “go back home now” (that voice inside), so I packed up my car one night at 3:30 am, and started the long drive back east home. I went to Akron first to see friends and family, then it was off to Pittsburgh, to visit some friends. I was staying at a friends house whose father had abandoned them a few years before during a divorce. His mother had Multiple Sclerosis very bad, and was “bed-ridden” to a couch in the living room.

It was a large ranch style house with about 8 – 10 bedrooms. So, to help make ends meet, she rented out 4 or 5 rooms to “boarders” dirt cheap.

To my great luck, Mike was one of these boarders.

After we talked all evening, all night, and the next morning, it was time for me to leave, and start my journey back to Arizona. I was antsy to return, but looking back, I wish I would have delayed my departure a day or two.~

~Actually, my leaving was already delayed a few days. About 4 or 5 to be exact.

When I first arrived at the friends house, I had already known of this guy named Mike who was living there. I knew about him 2 months before (phone call) and was greatly looking forward to meeting him someday. What I was told about him, greatly intrigued me.

Thing was, he wasn’t there when I got there! He was in Florida! BUMMER!!!

I was delayed to leave due to a very odd circumstance. I wanted to bring my Raleigh 10 speed bike back with me. The summer before, I let my brother use it, and my parents divorce was finalized, and they sold our house when I was 19…! I had no home anymore at Pitt, and no place to crash while visiting, thus why I was staying at that friends house (Eric) the next year.

My brother, had left my bike at a old neighbors house for safe keeping for me. In March of 1977 he was in Miami, at college there (Univ. of Miami). Well, the lady/mother of the house didn’t realize it was my bike. She thought it was my brothers, and would NOT release it to me until she heard from him via phone that it was okay. That took 2 or 3 days.

It was during that period of waiting, that Mike came back from Florida on the very day I got my bike back and was going to leave, that we finally met.

Then I was delayed 2 or 3 more days!

The force was with me during that time in my life~

He showed me way to many things for him not to be real. He was telepathic, and amongst other things, was able to manifest things right in the sky. Plus, right before he manifested something right before me, he pointed out one of their space craft (they don’t need them to fly in), and told me what it’s purpose is.

Earlier in the evening when we first met, I asked him what we need to do on earth to have a better life and such.

He replied “If YOU people would just learn to live your lives in the true Spirit of Christmas, you would not die.”

Hours later, when we went outside, he pointed out a light in the sky to me and asked me to keep my eyes on it. It was a full or near full moon, and it was chilly out. When he told me it was one of their ships… what he called a “beacon ship” , I asked him if it was going to be there for a while.

He said yes. So while shivering, I said “Well I’m going in and grab my jacket.” I ran in, grabbed it, came back outside and sat down right in the driveway lotus style, and watched the craft. It was very far away.

I asked him if it was going to land, and he said “nope”. Drats I thought, I wanna go for a ride.

He told me that the ship was say 200,000 miles away, heading to the moon. He also told me what the real purpose of the beacon ships are.

I watched it for about 10 minutes, and during that time, had traveled about 20,000 more miles.

While I watched it, I suddenly noticed small puffy clouds that had a orange hue, were moving oddly. They weren’t moving with a current. They were moving towards each other!

The clouds then merged, and when they did, a silhouette of Santa Claus and 2 reindeer appeared and flew across the sky.

I started laughing my ass off at the appropriateness of it (the spirit of Christmas earlier), and he was cracking up as well.

He then told me that just days earlier while he was in Florida (Jupiter, FL) he did the same thing in front of 200 people at a huge beach party and it flipped and freaked many of them out!

I think he liked my response of not showing any fear, but laughing at it. ~

~Mike told me that our meeting was NOT planned at all. I asked.

I helped him, just as much as he helped me! I gave him a means to VENT! And believe me, he sure vented! just imagine what he was holding inside, for who knows how long? I come along, and he let’r rip!

Let’s just say he had a lot of pent-up frustrations and anger.~

MIKE

I met a man
From a distant land.
He stressed the point
That I Am that I Am.

He was a firm man
With eyes aflame.
The powers he possessed
Put me to shame.

He said;
“You can do
What I do, Lee.
The secret…,
Lies in brain capacity.”

We drove around
In his compact car.
While we talked of life
On his distant star.

Time seemed to stop,
You see,
For Mother Shakti
Was flowing through me.

He stressed a point
I must relate.
That man
Shouldn’t have to reach
The “Pearly Gate.”

He spoke of past civilizations
On Jupiter and Mars.
Are the ditches on the fourth planet
Battle scars?

The Earth may suffer
A similar fate
It’s in the Bible
They won’t set a date.

The Earth’s what’s so important
We shall see.
That NO ONE(!)
Messes with cosmic energies

They can spin us
If need be
To put Earth back on track.
Then we will implode
and if so,
Will we be allowed back?

He said;
“You should use fusion,
Instead of smashing apart.
Then pollution shall rid itself
When you are given this brand new start.”

Yes,
I met a man
From a distant land.
He made me “high”,
By the touch
Of his hand.

Lee Bell – May 1978

Maranatha, Lee
With all my love
Goldilocks

The Sad Boy and The Sad Girl, the next part

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The Sad Boy sat slumped in the chair on the side of the room his leather jacket wrapped close around him. His sunglasses were on to hide his eyes. The tears flowing in an endless stream stained his chiseled cheeks. For hours he sat in emotional contemplation.

He was keeping vigil with The Sad Girl who had been in labor for twenty-two hours.

The distance in that small room was vast. They could not reach each other, both wrapped in their own torment.

The Sad Girl examined him through her pain. She wondered if he was crying for her or for himself.

She asked him once and never got a satisfactory answer.

And on that day, The Sad Girl gave The Sad Boy their first child. Their only daughter was born. She was an exact emotional replica of The Sad Boy.

The Sad Girl thought it was fitting. Because now The Sad Boy would know what it was like to deal with himself.

 

 

 

Although The Sad Boy and Girl saw no one, it seemed that everyone saw them. And most were not happy.

In the span of a few short hours, the news of the marriage proposal and acceptance threatened to turn into an international incident. It was broadcast through southern Italy and beyond to America.

It’s not coincidental the Italian Marconi and the American Bell were on the cutting edge of information technology. Gossip was and is a tradeable commodity

The Sad Girl had no words. Many times in her life, the words had failed her. The happiness was so great and so complex that the words would not form. They were not adequate. With The Sad Boy, she didn’t need words. He already knew. She only needed to feel.

The Sad Girl avoided all telephone calls from The Woman with a Rock in Her Shoe.

She stayed out late and woke up early. She blocked her ears when she was told that The Sad Boy was not for her. That The Sad Boy was a bad man. That it was impossible to think The Sad Boy loved her, that he would marry her. The Sad Boy loathed Americans. He was just playing with her heart.

She would have told The Sad Boy but their words were not the same. It took a while, but the day came when she told him.

The Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe threatened The Sad Girl with words too painful to type, until The Sad Girl relented and agreed to come home to wait for The Sad Boy to come and fetch her.

Time did what time so often does- it had stopped and when it started again, The Sad Boy and The Sad Girl found all the time they were allotted for that summer had passed.

And with a myriad of tears, The Sad Girl gave The Sad Boy her beloved teddy bear. She asked him to bring it back to her. For the first time their tears mingled with The Sad Boy wiping away The Sad Girls tears and she wiping away his.

The Sad Boy promised he would come and get her. He needed to procure a passport and a visa then he would come.

The Sad Girl knew that he would.

 

 

Goldilocks

The Sad Boy and The Sad Girl, part 3

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If you were the sun

I’d lie in your rays for eternity.

If you were the earth

I’d spend my life on the ground.

But you are only a man

So let me exist enfolded in your arms.

Time had stopped for the span of one afternoon. But now, the sun was sinking swiftly in the western sky. The Sad Boy and the Sad Girl reluctantly acknowledged that they needed to return.

Slowly they pedaled the boat. Hand in hand they walked up the mountain stopping every few feet just to look in to each others eyes. Their steps were slow although they knew the Sad Girl was expected to return.

They couldn’t go back to the world yet. They were just found and didn’t want to part. The bottom corner of the Sad Girl’s lip was a little swollen from too much sun, too much salt water and not enough kisses. When she pointed to her lip, the Sad Boy smiled and shook his head. He knew what to do. The Sad Girl already knew he did.

They stopped at a café. The Sad Boy said something to the barista then led the Sad Girl to a private garden with tables and chairs scattered under the trees. Drinks were served along with some ice for the Sad Girl’s tender lip.

They made plans- for the next day, for their life. It was only the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl. Nothing else mattered, for what was tinder without spark or spark without tinder? It’s only together that fire burns.

The Sad Girl heard a voice in the distance. The Sad Boy motioned to her- a finger covering his lip. She rolled her eyes at the sound. Reality, in the form of her brother-in-law, dared to intrude. Frantically he was asking if the Sad Girl and the Sad Boy had been seen. The barista’s answer was no. He had seen no one. The Sad Boy was never seen unless he wanted to be seen. The Sad Girl was happy to know that.

They finished their drinks. They both knew it was time to return the Sad Girl.

With a whispered kiss and plans for the next morning, the Sad Girl closed the car door then walked inside to be greeted by a frantic sister and brother-in-law.

They asked about her day not mentioning that they had been out looking for her. The Sad Girl told them she was getting married AND she was not returning home. The Sad Girl, the rock in the shoe, had suddenly turned into a diamond or a pearl in the space of an afternoon and it was left to her sister to inform their mother. Their mother would not be happy.  The Sad Girl did not care. She feigned sleepiness and retired for the evening telling her sister that she had plans for the next day.

She showered reluctantly. She didn’t want to wash off the smell of the Sad Boy on her skin. She could still feel the Sad Boy.

She laid her head on the pillow and whispered to God a thank you. It was her 24th birthday and the love of the Sad Boy was the best present she ever received.

All night he filled her dreams but when she went to reach for him, only her teddy bear was there.

Goldilocks

 

The Sad Boy and The Sad Girl, part 2

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Still no Lovelili so I will just continue…
“I don’t want to love you anymore…” the Sad Girl stated plainly as she looked into the Sad Boy’s stormy green eyes. But she knew she couldn’t stop, that she wouldn’t stop. And neither would he because love is not turned on and off like a water tap.
Either you love someone or you don’t. And if you truly love someone, you would never be able to stop loving them. Not here. Not in eternity. Because even though sometimes they hated each other, they loved each other even more.

…And when the Angels felt that sufficient time had passed, they dared to glance over their wings to see if, indeed, their match making duties had been successful. Quickly, they turned with a blush, for the things of men were not the things of Angels.
The kiss was still in progress. Time had stopped on that beautiful summer day. That’s what happens when two halves of the same soul reunite.

The kiss was everything. The kiss was everything to the Sad Boy. The kiss was everything to the Sad Girl. It was a question. It was an answer. It was finding something and then losing your self in it at the same time.

And with a laugh at a job well done, the Angels remembered that God told them to do one other thing. And they pulled two heavenly cords from beneath their wings.

With great joy, they began to tie the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl together with their heavenly string. The longer the kiss lasted, the more string they used until the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl were tightly bound to each other. From head to foot to hands to heart, they were bound together with an invisible string made of love that could not be broken.

And when the Angels reported back to God, He asked them if indeed the heavenly cord was secure because it would be repeatedly assaulted through out their life.
And what God joins together, no one must be able to part.

Dazed, for a great emotional storm had passed, the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl found peace and happiness as they continued to reside in each others arms.

Soon the August sun drove the kissing lovers back into the water to continue what was started on the beach. For the love was flowing from one to the other filling both the Sad Boy and the Sad Girl with its wonders.

The Sad Boy spoke the only words that he knew in English to the Sad Girl. “I Love You.” It was a statement.

And with her heart bursting, because it could not be true, the Sad Girl looked into the Sad Boy’s eyes and called him a fuckin liar. Those were the Sad Girl’s exact words. No more, no less. She could not be so fortunate. She was insecure. She did not feel worthy of such a love.

But the Sad Boy did not speak English. And he didn’t know what she had just said. And as insecure as the Sad Girl was, was how secure the Sad Boy was. Although she did not feel deserving of such a love, he did.

And the Sad Boy looked the Sad Girl in the eyes and began to hum the wedding march. As he did so, he removed the ring from his pinky finger. Picking up the girls hand, he motioned between the two of them. You and me forever was his question to the Sad Girl. And she shook her head yes while he placed the ring on her finger.

For better, for worse, till death do they part.

They sealed the bargain with a kiss.

 

Goldilocks

Happy 25th Anniversary Sad Boy

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Once a pound of time was weighing very heavily on a girl from New Jersey… She had already been through a suicide watch, graduated college with the Felician Sister’s seal of approval, worked two jobs, had her own car, but she was not loved. Not even by her parents.

She was beautiful and smart but terminally sad.
She was very sad. Every day she woke up and found no joy. Maybe here or there there was a bright spot, but it was like a cloud followed her.
She was chased by many men, but they were not right. They just wanted to sleep with her, but her heart was too guarded to let that happen.

In fact, at one point, her parents wanted to put her in a nunnery, just to get rid of her.
Her mother told her she was like a rock in her shoe. Annoying. A bother that she couldn’t wait to get rid of.

But what she didn’t know,  was that there was a little boy on the other side of the world that felt the same way as she did.

As pretty as she was, was how handsome as he was.

He too was on suicide watch. He tried to kill himself by smashing his car into a concrete wall. That’s how he got the scar on his nose.

His heart had been broken, chewed up then spit out and stomped on.
He swore off women. And never looked their way.

To him, the world was divided into two- men and f’in bitches. When he looked at a girl, he would imagine how they would break his heart. The female population chased him.

And he would look them up and down. See their charms. And say no. He knew they would break his heart.

His parents were very sad. They loved their son and wanted him to be happy. At all costs, they wanted him to be happy.

And his parents began to pray.

And one summer day, the sad girl got on an airplane. She had to breath. She had to get away. She wanted to run but she didn’t know where to run to. Any where, as long as it was far away from her parents and New Jersey. She never wanted to go home. Her mother opened a business and now she was expected to work for the woman with a rock in her shoe.

She had been invited to a wedding in Italy. So she packed her teddy bear and her cigarettes and went.

And proceeded to have culture shock.

She saw things, that others only dream of. She was on islands and on beaches. Museums and archeological sites. She ate things that came with 5 stars and glasses of wine.

And her sadness turned to listlessness. Because she finally figured out that you could never run away from yourself.
And problems knew how to dial a phone, unfortunately. And didn’t mind the cost of an international phone call.

And one day she was in the cathedral in Pompeii.

And she saw all her favorite saints draped in gold and diamonds and rubies and pearls.
And she saw letters and pictures, pleading with heaven for grace.

She loved Jesus and His Mother. But here she saw faith. The faith of thousands of lost people. Who needed something and petitioned the King for favors.

And the sad little girl fell to her knees and cried. She didn’t know what she needed or what she wanted. She needed help. And her tears rolling down her cheeks were her prayer.

And the next day, the sad little girl went to a wedding.

She threw on a dress that had long sleeves and a high collar, but no back. And she forgot her backless bra at home, so she had to go bra less with just her red stilettos and some lipstick and mascara.

The wedding started at 11 am. It was at a beautiful restaurant that over looked the Bay of Naples.
Still, she was listless. It was just how she was.
She would go outside and lean on the railing and smoke a cigarette and think. Because that’s what she did. Life was in front of her, but it seemed that it was out of her grasp.

And the hours passed. Finally, she noticed that whenever she went outside to smoke and think a sad boy came out soon afterwards to do the same thing.

She thought it was funny.

And the day turned into night. And with it came the sweltering heat of August.
And the sad girl started to sweat. Beads of perspiration were rolling down her bare back.
She sat up, to get her back off the upholstered chair. And she felt a breeze. A nice gentle breeze that cooled of her sweaty back. And she stretched so the breeze could go in between the folds of her dress.

And then she knew something was out of place. So she turned around and saw the sad boy. He was lounging on a chair a few feet away.
He had a Spanish fan and was fanning her back.

The sad girl smiled at the sad boy and he smiled back. Then she turned around.

And she promptly forgot about the sad boy until the end of the evening.

It was decided that the sad boy would take the sad girl to the beach the next day.

Okay, whatever, the sad girl agreed. She didn’t really care and neither did the sad boy.

The day dawned and with it the sad boy, who always kept his promises was waiting to take the sad girl to the beach. She overslept. But, he waited for her to get ready.

And he opened the door and tucked her in his car, And with a wave and a bored face they were off.

And he turned on a cassette, because they did not speak the same language. And the tape was the sad little girls favorite. And the sad little boy sang, except he couldn’t sing in English. And the sad little girl laughed and so did the sad little boy.

And the parked and walked down steps that had been built thousands of years before. And he would grab her hand because he was afraid she might fall. He would not let her go fast. She was in his care and he promised to look after her.

And they stopped to look at the view. The sun was shining and the water was sparkling and the beach was jammed packed. But the sad little boy knew what to do.

He rented a paddle boat. And popped the sad little girl in and they looked at each other for the first time.

And they paddled. The sad little girl didn’t care where, She was having fun. And so was he.
They ended up on a teeny tiny island that was deserted.

And they spread their towels and went swimming to cool off. Still they were laughing.

They went back to the beach and each layed on their respective towels to dry off in the sun.

And the sad little boy rolled over and kissed the sad little girl. The Angels turned their heads, for now their job was done.

 

Happy 25th Anniversary Sad Boy

Love, The Sad Girl

 

Goldilocks