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The Beginning of the End

The Sad Girl and Favorite sister sat reminiscing with Oldest Niece after a Sunday morning swim.

They were discussing the old weekly lawn mowing schedule and laying sod.

They were good, solid, happy memories of a happier time in what feels like another life.

Driving home with the Sad Boy, the Sad Girl still lost in thought, suddenly understood.

She turned to the Sad Boy. “That was it! That was the moment Pretend Father and the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe knew that the relationship between you and I and Favorite Sister and Favorite Brother-in-Law was too strong and had to be destroyed!”

She explained to the Sad Boy, “We just put down the sod. I received the letter from a distant cousin regarding family history. We read it to both of them on the freshly laid sod. You remember, the letter that said he’s actually Turkish…”

The Bastard Sad Girl had stumbled upon the first of many well kept secrets.

People won’t give you answers but when you say to God, “I’ve lived this, the answers are in my memory if You help me put it together.”

God is always happy to oblige.

************

The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe was very organized and methodical. She had no difficulty in finding a new building to rent in an under construction strip mall about ten minutes on the other side of our rapidly expanding rural town. She began to plan the new store by pricing then purchasing the necessary equipment while lining up vendors and suppliers. She created a menu that focused on her homemade breakfast and lunch specialties.

Favorite Sister, Baby Sister and the Sad Girl wanted no part of this new venture. The Sad Girl was teaching in school, Baby Sister was working at a local pizzeria and Favorite Sister was busy raising her three daughters. The three somehow intuitively knew they were to be the unpaid help. Repeatedly they let the Woman with the Rock in her Shoe understand that maybe they would help out, but not on a full time basis.

The Women with the Rock in her Shoe would get angry when they went to the movies or to the lake instead of helping her plan the deli. Again, they would repeat this was her venture, not theirs.

Sister II told them the food service industry involved many long hours and stamina. Sister II’s telling of the truth annoyed the Woman with the Rock in her Shoe. Her only reply was “All you need is a good manager.” And free help, might be added.

It took about six months of planning and by August 1988 the deli was ready for opening day. Brother II and his wife, along with their newborn daughter, had moved back up north and rented an apartment in the same apartment complex as the Sister Who Shall Not be Named.

In Defense of The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe

It’s convenient that the Pretend Father has told the Sad Girl never to speak to him.

It’s convenient that people the Sad Girl has known all her life, won’t speak with her either.

It’s convenient that the Pretend Father hides behind an open newspaper and a disdainful attitude.

But that’s the way it’s always been.

Honor your Father and Mother. It’s convenient to forget the Greatest is Love.

Old age doesn’t give you a pass nor does “You’re going to give me a heart attack.”

But it is convenient isn’t it?

Righteous umbrage to shut down every conversation so you conveniently don’t have to answer any questions.

What were you doing to cause the Woman with the Rock in Her Shoe to stray?

The Sad Girl would ask her but she’s dead.

Is that why the Sad Girl was not allowed to see her before she died?

Were you punishing the Woman with the Rock in her Shoe one last time?

She was only a woman not the Saint you proclaimed her to be.

Did you stray from her side?

Do you have another family?

Did you make her so miserable that she feigned allergies to stop eating and hasten her own death?

Were you cold and distant with her like you are with the Sad Girl?

Did you ever love her enough to forgive her?

Was everything she did a desperate plea for your attention?

How much did you know?

Why did you stop loving Favorite Sister and the Sad Girl?

Clear your conscience.

The Sad Girl still wants to know who her father is.

 

 

The Sad Girl graduated from Felician College in 1987 with both a degree in elementary education and an offer from the University of Delaware for a fellowship to study history at the graduate level. She declined the offer of graduate school. She was tired of studying. She preferred to begin a career in teaching, and hopefully, get married and have a family.

 

The Pretend Father presented the Sad Girl with a beautiful watch for her graduation. The watch was his idea and he selected it himself. The Sad Girl cherished that watch because it was from him, even though both parents had signed the graduation card.

 

Whenever she fastened the watch to her wrist, she remembered how proud he was of her on her graduation day. The Sad Girl has pictures of him just beaming with pride. On her graduation day, she felt his love.

 

The Sad Girl still remembers. She still wants him to be proud of her. She still want his eyes to sparkle and say “that’s MY daughter”, even if it is only in his heart.

 

( Many things happened during the in- between years before the deli opened. If inquiring minds want to know how you can catch chlamydia from the water at the Jersey Shore, or other fun incidences from the last of our semi-harmonic years I would be happy to make a special post. Just put it in the comment section and I will.)

 

 

One curtain may have closed but another opened to reveal the Sad Girl’s Pretend Father’s lifelong dream. He, along with Brother II, were determined to open a deli.

This business would subsidize the Pretend Father’s upcoming retirement and give him an occupation to enjoy during his golden years. A deli also appealed to Brother II. He had been a short-order cook through college and dreamed of having his own eating establishment.

 

At this point in our story, Brother II was self-employed writing software programs for large corporations. He reasoned he could write programs in the deli office during the lull hours.

 

If he needed to travel, someone could cover his hours. Brother II’s traveling had not made his wife happy. She was pregnant with their daughter and not able travel with him. A successful deli would enable Brother II to stop traveling.

 

The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe did not want this business. It would entail the Pretend Father procuring a small mortgage on their mortgage free house. Pretend father, with Brother II behind him, prevailed. The Woman with the Rock in her Shoe, dutiful wife that she was, began planning the new business venture.

Let me stress this again-

 

THE WOMAN WITH THE ROCK IN HER SHOE DID NOT WANT THIS BUSINESS.

 

 

 

Goldilocks